Room # 5

Okay, so there it was. My first crack at meditation. I had scoured a few resources, picking up tips on the basics from instructional videos for beginners and reading up on some helpful tips that had been posted on various sites around the web. Some of the stuff out there seems a bit far out and I suppose that a lot of it is open to interpretation and case-sensitive to the individual, rather than a one rule for all kind of situation. With these things in mind I set out to try and make it as tailored to myself as possible.

Simply put, it was a really interesting experience. One of the tips I had read that seemed pertinent was that in order for your mind to be calm and settle that the area around you be free from clutter. So, before my attempt I spent an hour and a half cleaning generally around the house and ensuring that there was no clutter in any area. This seems to make general sense, as if you are like me then mess somewhere always means something you're going to have to do later. So I cleaned to a reasonable standard and then set out creating a suitable environ for the act.

I had read that a posture sitting on the floor, or as low as possible, is ideal, the whole lotus position thing is more buddhist in origin and as such is not strictly necessary or an intrinsic part of the discipline. I would be lying if I said I didn't at least try it, but as it stands I am about 13% as supple as you need to be to do something like that. So I settled for cross legged. I locked myself in the bedroom, where it was quiet and dark, with gentle evemning light spilling through the blinds, and decided to light three candles I had been keeping for a special occasion (yet to arrive it should be noted) to further enhance the mood.

And so I settled in, back as straight as possible, on the floor in my little bedroom and began trying to replicate what I had seen and heard. Pulling in breaths through my nose, and ponderously exhaling through my mouth, trying best toensure that I pulled my breaths from my gut instead of my chest. Almost instantly, the effects of such breathing regulation are noticeable, the sheet of black in front of your eyes swimming as no doubt the levels of oxygen in your blood change and the heart assumes a different rhythm from it normal tattoo. I was concerned at first that my posture was incorrect as already my legs were beginning to feel the pinch from such and unorthodox (for me anyway) sitting position.

As time progressed however, keeping the rhythm of the breathing became less of an intended act and more of a natural activity, the slow rhythm of in through the nose, out through the mouth becoming intuitive rather than intended. As this became more natural, the uncomfortable feelings in my legs began to ebb away and the whole process seemed more organic instead of forced.

I am not going to lie and say that my mind was a blank cavas, in fact I would say that keeping your mind free of distraction, no matter how small, is the hardest (and in istelf, the most distracting) thing about meditation. When one such as me, used to living life at 1,000 miles an hour, who even when relaxing usually has sensory input of more than one type of fast paced or lively activity at once suddently attempts to completely empty ones chaotic brainbox,even for a few moments, it is never likely to just click on like a lightbulb (no pun on illumination intended).

However, as time went on, you do feel a certain calmness of the mind follow on from the relaxtion of the body. Its not unlike how I imagine it is when the body enters the first stages of sleep, when the brain shuts each part of itself off sequentially until you enter REM. The difference is that you can feel certain parts of your conscious thought start to melt and fall away as you focus your breathing. When thoughts and more importantly sounds distract you from what you are trying to achieve (thanks by the way to whichever of my neighbours chose this particular hour of the day to stand at their door shaking a box of cat crunchies and calling 'Tilly! Tilly!' endlessly) it can take quite an effort of will to re-centre your focus nd not get drawn away into a tangent of conscious thought.

The mostextraordinary part of the process however, is coming out of it. There came a point (I'd say after 25-30 minutes) where I just knew I'd had enough, I didn't make a conscious decision to break otu of it like I had something better to do or wasn't enjoying it, simply that, for now, I had taken as far as I wanted. So I slowly inclined my head, bringing my eyes straightahead of me and slowly opened my eyes. Remaining perfectly still, I focused lazily on the candlelight, which I had become all but oblivious to, and slowly picked up the spoon, tapping thrice gently on my makeshift chime to signify to my mind the end of the meditation (this will become important in advancement as the mind associates it with its alternate state).

There I sat for a further ten minutes or so, not sure if what I was feeling was like being awoken from sleep, just getting ready to go to sleep, like I was stoned, drunk, who knows? It can only be described as a remarkable feeling of relaxation. As mybreathing returned to normal and I began restoring the locomotion to my head and limbs, the urge took me to just get into bed and go straight to sleep. I will admit freely that exiting from my pose was tricky, both legs had completely gone to sleep as a result of prolonged placement at angles they are not used to being put in. So I flopped onthe bed and lay, enjoying immensely the kind of feeling that I am certain is usually reserved for waking from a long and peaceful sleep.

Now I'm not claiming to have reinvented the wheel here, there are myriad things for me to learn and I am sure that my preparations, techniques and execution are flawed beyond belief, but I re-iterate thatI lot of this I believe to be sensitive to the individual, and what I found in my meditation tonight is a sense of relaxtion and general well being unlike any kind I've experienced before, intoxicant induced or otherwise. I will defintiely be attempting it again and hopefully picking up new skills and knowledge along the way.

Now lets see if I can go and find Tilly before she does....